What About Mickey's?

From MMAjunkie.com:

The Ultimate Fighting Championship has inked a three-year deal with Anheuser Busch, arguably the biggest sports marketer of them all, that will go into effect at UFC 84 in May.

If nothing else, this is yet another sign of MMA - and the more specifically the UFC - becoming more visible in the mainstream. Not to mention the fact that the UFC is now in business with one of the biggest advertisers in the world. (Can someone verify that for me? Thanks in advance.)

And as far as blue-chip sponsors go, they don’t get much bigger than Anheuser-Busch. The St. Louis-based brewer is responsible for 48.5 percent of all beer sales domestically. The company, founded in 1852, brews more than 40 different beers and malt liquors.

Oh, thanks. God, the people at MMAjunkie do a hell of a job.

However, the deal with the UFC will focus solely on the Bud Light brand.

So what does this mean for Mickey's - the lovable malt liquor that UFC fans have grown to know and love as the official beer of the UFC. Mickey's: Get Stung! It's a malt liquor for God's sake! Mickey's is the UFC.

Since we started watching the UFC a few years ago Roommate Mike and I have always toyed with the idea of ordering a case of Mickey's 40's for a fight night. We never actually did it, but just the fact that we thought about it was a real testiment of what Mickey's meant to the MMA culture.

A few weeks ago I was in Massachusetts visiting my brother. While I was there we went to a "package store" to buy beer. When I was browsing the native beer selection I noticed something that had alluded my upstate New York self for years: a Mickey's 40-ounce.

Let me tell you my friends - it was a beautiful site. Someday, when I am old and reliving the greatest moments of my life, I'll talk about Lauren, the Marlins winning the World Series(es), the birth of my children, and the day I was buying booze for my underage brother in Massachusetts and saw a 40-ounce bottle of malt liquor that I'd never tasted before. That's how special Mickey's is. It's birth-of-a-child special.

I bought 2 - one for me and one for Mike. I knew it was one of those experiences that roommates need to share. Honesty, it keeps the relationship fresh - Fresh like a Mickey's!

When we untwisted the caps later that night we were both pleasantly surprised that it was actually pretty good. Make no mistake, this is high praise coming from us. Mike and I are both noted cheap beer connoisseurs. We've even had Four 0 [Street Legal] which caused temporary blindness in our other roommate, Justin.

With that in mind, I hope that Bud's involvement in the UFC doesn't push Mickey's from our lives. If anything, it's a reminder of the UFC's roots in our living rooms. My living room at least.

The Lakers Are Good At Passing

I'm absolutely hypnotized by this play.



1. Kobe threw a near perfect outlet pass half the length of the court - over his shoulder facing the opposite baseline. It looked like a pass that would be attempted in a pickup game that would either be picked off or go nowhere near the intended target. You see that kind of pass from the block to someone cutting to the rim.

2. Luke Walton goes up and catches the ball and throws a perfect behind the back bounce pass in one motion. The more I watch the video the more ridiculous this pass becomes. One fluid motion. Just a flawless play by Walton. More impressive than the act of the pass itself...

3. ...is the perfect placement of said pass to Lamar Odom who is running full speed towards the hoop. This is the second pass in less than a second that generally doesn't work.

4. Odom doesn't travel. This is the NBA - even the coaches constantly take too many steps. One. Two. Dunk. End highlight.

This is kind of like the Manning-Tyree play. Not in the magnitude of the moment, obviously. I mean, they were playing the Heat. The '07-'08 Heat in the regular season* at that. But its the combination of the separate plays that take it to another level. The difficulty of each facet of this sequence is incredible.

What's my point? I guess it's a good time to be a fan of the NBA.

*It would be hard to meet these teams to meet in the playoffs since 10-45 teams seldom make the playoffs - let alone represent their conference in the finals. Then again, we are talking about the Eastern Conference. So who knows? Maybe the Heat will win the East and I'll have to eat this blog.

Hey, Federal Government, Can I Just Burn My Money Instead?

Ugh. Screw you, Main Stream Media. Nobody gives a shit about Roger Clemens. OK?

Look, no one dislikes Clemens more than me. OK, maybe Bill Simmons. But aside from Simmons, no one hates Clemens more than I do. I think he's a huge dick head. (Clemens, not Simmons) A cheater. A liar. An asshole. (Is that repetitive? Sorry.)

Nothing would make me happier than seeing Roger Clemens place in the history of baseball get a big *, or smudge, or blemish, or et cetera, et cetera. I don't know if this stems from my deep-rooted and baseless hatred of the Yankees or if I just really dislike assholes, but I have hated Clemens for years now. And he's never done anything to me.

From the New York Times via Fan House:

"There's a big league team to the left, I think," said Clemens, referring to how reporters were ignoring the Astros to concentrate on his comings and goings. "Wow ... You guys need to get a life."

*Sigh* I agree with Roger Clemens. These reporters shouldn't even be there. Anyone not assigned to report on the actual Astros should be advised to exit the premises immediately. Thank you.

Because of this insanely pointless and boring coverage, Clemens ruins SportsCenter whenever they decide to lead with 5 minutes of coverage from Capitol Hill. Or he ruins PTI when Wilbon and Kornheiser devote the first three, 2-minute segments to Roger Clemens and the "court of public opinion."

To quote Collin Sullivan from The Departed, "Qui gives a shit."

Well, guess what? When it comes to whether or not Rocket is going to be convicted of perjury, I'm guessing the "court of public opinion" is on a long recess. Either that or nobody showed up for jury duty. At what point is it going to occur to people that OUR TAX DOLLARS are paying for this charade? This televised circle jerk?

Granted I make around four-thousand dollars a year - and that's all from returning beer cans - but if I did have to pay taxes I would be pissed off. The guy throws a ball for a living while gas prices are threatening to rise to $4 a gallon. It's bad enough that our elected leaders spend X-amount of dollars on campaigning while people are starving and struggling to make ends meet in their cities and states. It's disgusting.

I'm so glad my parents work so hard to help contribute to finding out whether or not a baseball player may have gone to a fucking pool party 10 years ago. What a joke! So his wife took a shot of bull semen* - who amongst us hasn't!? Someone make it stop!

But no! From SI.com:

So the leaders of a House committee want the Justice Department to investigate if the star pitcher lied under oath about using performance-enhancing drugs.

What a joke. This has got to be a joke, right? More government officials are getting involved? If only there was a war going on that might distract our elected officials from something so trivial as what baseball players are injecting themselves with.

Should Clemens have lied under oath? No.

Should Clemens have been under oath in the first place? No.

/Channeling Bill Simmons

I was talking to my father this weekend and he made an excellent point. If Clemens had walked into that congressional hearing and said something along the lines of, "I'm pleading the 5th. As an American tax-payer I am deeply disappointed that you're wasting your time and my money on something like this with all the real problems in America."

/End Channeling Bill Simmons

This whole ordeal is starting to turn Clemens into a sympathetic figure! Just forget about Clemens. Let me forget about Clemens. Please! I mean, come on - I'm starting to pine for "the good old days" of round-the-clock A-Rod coverage.

*Interesting side note - When I did the blog search for Debbie Clemens and found that link, this line stood out to me: "Then, Brian McNamee accused Debbie Clemens of taking HGH - and our jaws have yet to recover from hitting the floor so hard."

Dear Readers,
If I ever write anything that fucking stupid in this space and am half-way serious about it, let me know and I'll delete the blog and take a pair of scissors to my Ethernet cable.
Love Always,
CRM

I Can't Go When I People Watch

This is really weird. From MSNBC:

Visitors to Britain will find a new stop on London’s site-seeing route this spring: a usable public toilet enclosed in one-way mirrored glass situated on a sidewalk near the River Thames. The contemporary art exhibit, which allows the user to see out while passers-by cannot peep in, toys with the concepts of privacy and voyeurism.

I hate it when weird people play the "art card."

Oh, you spread out a bunch of candies on a floor? It's art!

Note: I saw that candy exhibition. The fact that I was able to maintain and not blackout in rage is a good sign.

_______________________________________________________

I understand what this guy means when he says his review of the newest Black Crowes album was an "educated guess." I do that kind of thing all the time. Like when I write about how freaking awful Jumper looks and then everyone who is dumb enough to see it says that it kind of sucked. Vindication!

Remember in entertainment it's often best to judge a book or movie or album by its cover. Even if you haven't seen it.

Gay Men Now Skinnier, Whiter Than Ever

With apologies to the cast of Real World: Philadelphia...



I always take a shower after I purge too.

I'm not going to write you a love song...cuz you asked for it...you need one...

Ah, damn it! Now it's stuck in my head!

Don't Attend Grad School Unless You Really Want To

This message was brought to you by the guy writing a play for an English class. Hey, that's me! Watch out David Mamet, I'm coming for you.
I'm sure everyone is looking forward to reading "Airport Bar." I know I am.